A Month in Berlin

A path approaching St. Mary's Church

I’ve been in Berlin for a month now, I still haven’t really begun my research. This is partly because I’ve had so many other obligations, and other work to steal my attention, but also because I’ve been spending a large amount of time in the…for lack of a better term, “socializing” part of the Fulbright. Fulbright was founded for the purpose of academic as well as inter-cultural exchange, after all, so I suppose even when I feel as though I’m slacking I’m fulfilling the goals of the program. Despite spending hours almost every day doing a variety of social activities, I still find this city somewhat lonely and it’s rather easy just to retreat to my computer (where everything is in English!). My roommate Michael, has been a huge help to me in all things Germany, though lately he has been coming home from work exhausted every day and thus one less outlet to assuage the loneliness. Overall I’d say my impression of the city is improving, and I’ve been having a lot of fun, though it seems my proclivity is to write reflectively while in a degree of melancholy.

The Berliner Dom (Church) and Fernsehturm (TV tower) during
 the Light Festival

The semester began this week, and I’ve already begun attending lectures at the theology faculty. Thanks to the slow and deliberate delivery of the lectures by the professors, aided by the context, I’m able to follow practically everything in German. My German language course is set to begin this week as well, though I’m a bit anxious about starting because there remains a bit of bureaucracy to navigate.
In my subconscious’ endeavor to easy my transition into German life by giving me the feelings of contexts past, the academic setting of Humboldt has channeled the aura of Harvard combined with my time teaching at Azusa Pacific. We’ve had formal teas and student parties like at Harvard, and I’ve been dressing my best so that I at least give the impression that I know what I’m doing here (ala Azusa Pacific).

The Brandenburg Gate during the Light Festival

With my time here I’m still experiencing a general sense of a lack of direction and an ever-present anxiety about the future. I know that reading the last several years of my CV, I hardly seem to be directionless, but things never fall into place as simply as the appear presented on a CV; and I suppose my lack of satisfaction with the present is one reason I’m always motivated to accomplish something greater still. I’m going to have to make a greater effort to live more in the present, or at least in this year and stop viewing this Fulbright, which is a prestigious opportunity and a great privilege, merely as something to fill a gap-year!