Getting through Security

I just spent an hour in a check point coming out of the West Bank. Typically we leave from Jerusalem to circumvent the West Bank entirely on the road to Gaza, but because of the weather (raining) and the difficulty Erica has getting from Bethlehem to Jerusalem (through a checkpoint) early enough, we decided to try a different route. I've had somewhat invasive checks before, on par with airport security, and those are easy enough to laugh off. Usually the most embarrassing thing that happens is that I have to remove my belt going through the metal detector, and have to hold up my pants for 5 minutes while they send it through the X-Ray (yes the belt, no I don’t know why); but this one was bad, downright offensive. Generally anyone with an American I'd gets waved right through checkpoints, not many Californians bent on terrorist acts against the state of Israel I guess (the issue of legislated racial/gender/geographical profiling is for a different blog). As I handed the guard Erica’s ID (Jerusalem residing Palestinian) after mine, the guard’s expression changed, and he squawked something over his walkey talkey and directed us to turn around and get in line for inspection.

We sat in our van for about 15 minutes in a line with 10-20 other vehicles waiting for inspection; taxis, agricultural trucks, empty freight trucks, and a few other unlucky regular motorists, the others had clearly been there quite a bit longer. When a guard instructed the front vehicles to go we sped into a barricaded lot in a stampede of vehicles. We all parked, opened all our doors, trunk, hood, grabbed our bags and headed some 100 feet or so to go through security, while our vehicles were searched, checked for bombs with mirrors, dogs, etc… While I was waiting in line to go through the metal detector and have my backpack and our bag of medical supplies X-rayed, another guard called out for me after looking at our van. I walked up to him and he said in broken English to take the child and infant seats out of the van to be X-rayed as well. That was a new one, kind of frustrating but I complied. I had to take a couple trips because the seats in addition to bags were too cumbersome. When I got to the line they opened my backpack, flipped through the pages of my Bible and rummaged through the rest. Everything was then put on the X-ray. The inspector was very interested in our medical supplies, tubes, feeding syringes, and what not. I explained that we were a medical charity. My laptop had to be sent through alone, opened, and inspected as well. I cringed as my open laptop went back and forth naked under the rubber drapes, no scratches thankfully.

After going through security everyone was then corralled through a one way door into an outdoor pen to wait, about 20 Palestinian young men, myself, and Erica. The guards had apparently collected everyone’s cell phones to prevent anyone from making calls, they never asked me though. I was then called back to the van again. A guard had noticed there was a small blue container, mostly empty, in the back of our van, she asked me to take that to be X-rayed. After I was about half way to the security building she called me back again. I went back, and now she wanted to know what I had assumed they would ask about first, the 3 foot tall highly explosive tank of oxygen we keep stowed in our van. She said “what is this?” I replied, “oxygen.” She called over another guard that apparently spoke better English, he asked what it was, and I told him “oxygen” at which point he translated to the other guard “oxygeen.” To the X-Ray of course. I knew it didn’t really matter what I said was in it, I could have said it was full of Israeli flags and ‘free Gilad Shalit’ bumper stickers and they would still have X-rayed it. I loaded up the little blue container, and then the big tank of oxygen onto the X-ray machine. As it went through I explained to a teenage female guard doing her very best to sound intimidating what the canister contained and why we had it. Typically the best strategy for getting through checkpoints without being hassled and interrogated is to give the facts but acting like a dumb American that doesn’t speak a word of Hebrew; throwing in a California accent or a “Yee-haw!” for good measure always helps. I was then sent back out to the pen, leaving the oxygen tan inside, no doubt to have some superior officer decide what to do with the thing.

It began pouring rain while we were in the pen, again everyone’s doors were wide open, and everyone began shouting at the guards to let us out to close our vehicles up. After maybe 30 seconds of downpour we were allowed to go close our doors and come back. We spent another half an hour waiting, most of the men spent it smoking, drinking coffee, often both. It reminded me of the kids that got detention in high school, keeping mostly quiet, but telling jokes and goofing off as much as they could get away with. There was quite a lot of tension, not so much out of fear of the border guards but because of the guards’ perceived incompetence for taking so long. While I don’t doubt the quality of the training the IDF inductees undergo, the closest thing that it reminds me of back home is high school PE class. Israel’s military service is compulsory for every citizen, male or female, for two years typically ages 18-19, unless you are an Orthodox Jew studying Torah, or volunteer for humanitarian service. Because of this, there are soldiers everywhere, and their attitude toward their military service seems to be mixed in the same stereotypes found in high school gym class. You have the girls that dress out, but prefer to talk and don’t participate, the overweight ones with skin tight uniforms, you have some guys that are a little too gung ho and take their position very seriously, and almost across the board they act like normal teenagers when they aren’t tending to some immediate work. I pass them every day waiting at the bus stops to go home, and it’s all so reminiscent of high school. The primary difference is that many of these young adults are armed with m4 assault rifles, complete with extended ammo clips and scopes, even strapped over the shoulder they practically drag on the ground with some of the 5’ tall 100lb girls.

Anyway, we were given back our oxygen tank, and after a few minutes more a guard began a roll call of IDs and passports, the lone blue US passport sitting at the top. A guard called out “Justin,” to which all the Palestinians repeated loudly so everyone could hear. It was like being called to get up from time out. Once called to get the passport you were free to go, and one by one everyone darted off to their vehicle and pulled out. I took much longer, having to reassemble everything, and load everything back up in the van, through the rain mind you.

I left feeling a little disgruntled and violated, and soggy socks didn’t help anything. All this took place while the Gaza patients were waiting for us at the border with the freezing wind and pouring rain, luckily a couple border taxis allowed our patients to sit in their cars while they waited for us.

What is necessary, what is justifiable, what is off limits, what is private, what is excessive? These questions require a great deal of input by analysts, lawyers, government representatives, in meetings, committees, and courtrooms, but there is a lot of necessary perspective which can only be gained once you have yourself been the object if interest, anything less is a fundamental handicap in discerning these questions.

Not What I Want, or What I Need Yet, but a Merciful Portion

After a long day of hospital visits and driving I was tired, frustrated, and discouraged. After reaching home, when everyone else had already gone inside and just as I finished the checklist of things to do before getting out of the van myself, I heard someone say “Justin” me from outside. The tone of voice seemed warm and whoever it was sounded excited to see me, and while I only heard it faintly I assumed it was quiet because I was still in the van. I looked up from my checklist with a spike of energy and anticipation, but saw no one there. I looked in either direction, moved in my seat in the hopes of seeing someone obstructed by a pillar, no one. Then, almost desperately, I moved again the other way in case when I moved to see around the pillar the first time they had come into view from the other perspective. There was no one. I realized then there is no one here that is excited to see me, who would call out my name in that tone. I sank back into my worn and beaten seat, defeated. The unsatisfied anticipation and spike of energy coupled with this realization only created more momentum to drain me even further. I understand the conscious sometimes supplies what the subconscious really wants in times of extreme stress; it must have been a random memory firing or my senses failing because of how tired I was. Just the same, I would rather have had nothing than to have this.

I realized that while someone calling my name was common back home it hadn’t happened since I've been here in Israel; it’s another one of those things I didn’t realize I missed until I noticed it was gone. Having someone be excited to see me is something that is easy to distinguish between genuine and rehearsed or forced, probably for this reason it’s one of few things that can penetrate what I admit can be a cynical defensiveness. Feeling valued by others and in this sense feeling pure love is something I have missed dearly in person.

I spent the next few hours alone in my room (as alone as I can be in a bedroom that doubles as a hallway), confronting the truth of this realization. Digging out the root of its past influence and anticipating its future discomfort I concluded there was little hope for a remedy.

I went upstairs, probably frustrated at myself for feeling self pity, exchanging one defeat for another, when I walked through the upstairs dining room. Halo (nine years old), one of our Iraqi children came into the room and, upon seeing me, smiled and called out, “Justin!” At this Alaa (six years old) trotted in and Omed (twelve years old) as well, excited to see me and eager to be involved with whatever I had come up there to do. We spent the next half an hour playing with a balloon, so easy to impress, they marveled at my strength as I knocked the balloon all the way to the ceiling. While children are perhaps not who I had in mind when I was so sunken over this, the Lord knows what I need, and he has supplied all my needs, perhaps in this circumstance better than what my own heart wills.

A Day in the Life

I haven’t had time to update the blog in a while, given how busy I am I hope that you understand. Here is a snapshot of today:

Today after the 8:30 morning meeting I drove from Jerusalem to Gaza with Erica our Gaza coordinator to pick up several patients for the first time in about two weeks. The border had been closed to medical cases because of a bureaucratic stand-off, the details of which are hardly entertaining blog content. Out of a possible 7 children I was told that 5 had obtained all the necessary permissions, 1 to be taken by ambulance, and 4 to be picked up by yours truly; 2 for follow ups, 1 for heart catheterization, and 1 for urgent surgery. I was also told that some Israeli medical students would be meeting me at the border to tag along in order to make the entire process somehow more complicated. Because the border requires all people going through the border to shut off their cell phones, and because of the hoops everyone must jump through to get out, discerning when and if anyone gets across it is extremely unpredictable. After waiting approximately half an hour we had collected 3 of the 4 patients, but the one left in security was the most urgent case. In order to ensure that the 3 kids that made it out were able to be treated I left for Tel Aviv with just 3 of the 4 children expected to get out, and gave Erica’s cell phone number to one of the taxi drivers who sit at the border in case the 4^th child made it out. I squeezed two of the medical students in the van as well and they provided some welcome company on the road to the hospital. They were both fresh from American and Canada and were very interested to hear about our work. They have been living in Be’er Sheba, one of the primary targets of the Hamas rockets, and frankly I was surprised at the lack of bitterness toward the Gazan people. I thought it was perhaps because they had not lived there long, but they have lived there long enough to suffer a bit of shell shock after this latest war, and joked about how they jump at anything that sounds similar to the incoming rocket warning siren.

For some reason Israelis have become nervous about people from Gaza, possibly because of the daily rockets and bombings, so it’s routine that whenever I pull up in the van to hospital entry security with Gazans security likes to run our papers, check the bags, look at the van, check for nervous eyes, etc. All the guards recognize me at this point and I‘m able to joke with them about giving me a hard time every time I bring anyone to the hospital, a smile goes a long way, and seeing men armed with fully automatic assault rifles is something you get used to; I think it’s possible them knowing I'm from California has granted me a charisma they’re curious about as well. After everything cleared and the guard handed me back all the paperwork I said “thanks” and as I pulled away hung my arm out the window and held out a peace sign, the guard instinctively called back “peace!” as I drove into the lot.

Upon piling out of the elevator at the hospital with all the Gazan’s I was stopped at the entry to the pediatric cardiology department by one of the workers, very unusual… I didn’t find out why until about 15 minutes later, after watching a few people rush in and out. Yesterday, amongst the chaos of my own tasks at the hospital, I witnessed Maureen a 3-year-old from Tanzania having her chest sutures removed (one of the final things done before a patient’s release). I said a quick hello to her mother Sweetie, before I ran off to finish my work for the day. I have had several conversations with Sweetie in the hospital rooms, hallways and outside the ICU, and I’ve always been sure to say hello to bashful little Maureen. Sweetie has been here with her daughter, who has had 3 heart surgeries now, since December through Save a Child’s Heart. I found out that she was a Christian, and gave her my Gideon’s New Testament so she would be have the Scriptures handy in a pocket size to carry with her, and I was able to connect her with a local Christian congregation in Tel Aviv so that she was able to attend a much needed worship service. Today was a different story for Maureen, in the morning she had a temperature so as a precaution she was brought to the hospital to have some tests run. Suddenly, in the middle of being checked Maureen’s breathing and heart stopped. The technician immediately called (not exaggerating) the entire children’s ward staff and doctors and every machine they had to the small check-up room. This was why I was stopped at the entrance to the department, the workers didn’t want the 6 Gazans I had in tow to witness this frenzy going on around the corner. When I got the all clear I brought the Gazan patients into a waiting area and watched machine after machine being wheeled out of the check-up room, followed by Maureen. With 20 or so of the best pediatric doctors and nurses in the world surrounding her she was successfully resuscitated after a few minutes, and as she was wheeled by I was never happier to hear a child cry. It’s unknown whether or not she has suffered brain damage, I’ll get an update the next time I go to this hospital.

After making sure the nurses were ready for the kids and waiting for the panic to settle down it was well past lunch time but after a minute of debating whether or not to get food or wait longer with the patients we received a call from the taxi driver that the 4^th child had made it across, and back we went to Gaza. Thankfully this took place without incident, we picked up the mother and child, welcomed them, strapped them in, and back we went again to Tel Aviv.

Back at the hospital now two of the three patients brought earlier had finished their check-ups and the third was being worked on, which gave us thirty minutes or so to eat lunch. Now 3:30, I was ready to stuff my face with something huge in a hurry, McDonald’s fit the bill. I order a small combo to the tune of 42 sheqels (a little more than 10 US dollars (no that’s not a typo)). After shoving the food down we returned to collect the two families that came for follow up in order to take them home to Gaza only to find the hallway empty. Not knowing where Gazan’s are in a city like Tel Aviv was a big security booboo, but we quickly tracked them down quickly, and I joked with the doctor about her losing my patients. We found them, called out “Yalla” (the Arabic catch all for, “let’s go,” “come here,” “are you ready,” etc), had a bit of a laugh about them eluding us, and piled back into the van.

The sun was setting as I drove in the middle of the Israeli rush hour, now the third time to Gaza today. It’s no surprise that the traffic thins the closer you get to the border, though even the bumper to bumper tedium isn’t so bad if you can just enjoy the beautiful countryside along the way, especially at sunset when the rolling hills turn golden on one side of the highway, and dunes with desert blooms chasing the sun on the other. We made it to the border once again, unloaded our happy little patients and their mothers, shook their hands and made sure they got through the security gate. Our day was finally done and we were prepared to head to Jerusalem when, wouldn’t you know it, I got a knock on my driver’s window…

I let Erica do the talking (she’s fluent in Arabic). This fellow had gotten out of Gaza and was looking for a ride to Jerusalem. While hitchhikers are very common in Israel, Gazan’s getting permission to go to Jerusalem are not at all. We asked him what he was doing, to which he replied he was going for peace talks. Erica and I were very skeptical of the possibility and needed to check him out before unintentionally aiding an international criminal, but sure enough, he produced the paperwork. He was granted a travel visa to be in Israel for more than a month, and was permitted to travel almost everywhere in Israel; both the length of time and the areas he had permission to were shocking to me frankly. He gave us a business card which titles him a Political Commissar under the Palestinian National Authority – The Chairman of Supreme Committee for Negotiation and Peace Process Suppert (sic).

Call me superstitious if you like, but it’s not every day that The Chairman of the Supreme Committee for Negotiation and Peace Process Support of the Palestinian Authority ask for a ride from a random van that so happens to be occupied by two people at the bleeding edge of this work, who also happen to be going exactly where he needs to go, and from the Gaza border no less. So, after being scolded by a frustrated taxi driver for stealing his customer we headed back for Jerusalem.

I stopped to load myself up on some coffee for another long drive at a restaurant and coffee shop about 5 minutes from the border. There are two spins for how you can be surprised at this place, either that such a nice place could exist in such close proximity to the Gaza strip granted the constantly falling rockets, or that such a ravaged place as the Gaza strip could exist in such close proximity to a fine dining restaurant. For the price of a McDonalds meal you can get essentially a 3 course meal, I seriously hope no one in Hamas hears about this place, not that I wouldn’t like them to enjoy it, but because they’d probably want to blow it up. This place is one that gives me that unexpectedly normal feeling, it shouldn’t feel normal there, but it does. You never know what will give you some perspective in this place, in this case it was a restaurant.

We made it back to Jerusalem around 7:30, dropped off our new friend, ate some dinner which was waiting for us, and got to work on things needed to get done around Jerusalem. I imagine we’ll try to make contact with the political commissar sometime during his stay, perhaps have him over for dinner. We can always use more friends on both sides.

Newsletter 3-3-09 Available for Download

My internet is more or less broken for the time being, but I managed to upload the latest newsletter for you do download here: http://www.4shared.com/file/91427641/83a23205/Newsletter_3-3-09.html